Although concrete is a pretty hardy material and wouldn’t be assumed to require a protective layer over it, sealers are a good idea for making sure that your concrete project is kept immaculate for a much longer time. [Read more...]
How To Stash Your Weed
This article begins with a disclaimer that the writer has no idea what the words weed, grass, pot, skunk, boom, bomb, giggle weed, Aunt Mary, or bong mean. However, in professionally and objectively researching this probably-illegal but well-paid-for article, he accidentally came across some tips on how to stash your weed where the folks-you-don’t-want-to-know-you-smoke-weed won’t think of looking.
Here are the results of that tedious but perception-enhancing search. And don’t worry if the techniques are complicated – you probably won’t remember the title of the article by the time you reach the end anyway.
The spice rack is reportedly a perfect sanctuary for your own brand of herb. The oregano dispenser will work if you don’t have lovers of Italian food at home constantly giving you heart attacks when they’re browsing for just the right spice for that meat sauce. Better yet, put it in a small plastic bag and hide it in the middle of a full dispenser before you try this, unless you want a houseful of Rastafarians with a capital P.
Another supposedly great spot is a potted plant; and won’t you, please excuse the pun. They’re known to be the most neglected members of the household, which means they’re perfect for you. Remember to put them in watertight bags, unless you want to have to put them in the drier every time you need a toke.
If you want to know how to stash your weed functionally, put it in your wallet, or so says one of the interviewees for this piece. The flattening effect will make the resin ooze out and make your next hit literally mind-blowing. Besides, nobody’s going to raid your wallet for anything but cash. A kind-hearted pickpocket might even do you a favor and return it to you cash-free with your stash intact.
However, another purportedly perfect way is to use a thick tome with a hollowed-out innards, but this is too obvious. Besides, there’s not much you can tell your Mom when she asks you what happened to the middle 35 books of the family Bible.
Another great how-to-stash-your-weed tip that might work but has never been and never will be tried by this writer is to keep it in a small cubby-hole that you’ve been digging in an iced-up part of the deep freezer for the last few months with the help of a plastic toothpick and your little brother posted at the door as a look-out. This is sure to preserve your weed in perpetuity. You can even go off to college and come home to a truly meaningful Thanksgiving.
The very fact that this article has been written by a person with no experience with grass of a higher kind should give you a clue that it takes years of practice to make something look natural, even if you’ve got no grounds for authenticity. Off the record, this article must end now due to foggy conditions and generally poor-visibility.
